In a fascinating display of computational prowess, a hyper-intelligent AI—operating with predictive algorithms so advanced they border on the psychic—now forecasts a high probability that both Trump and Harris will receive 269 electoral votes this November. It’s a reminder that even in politics, the universe has a way of bending toward chaos.
After months of campaigning that cost billions of dollars… and more memes than the internet can handle, it all could come down to a big ol’ tie. Naturally, the nation will trust in The Constitution and remain calm and collected, by which I mean everyone in the News media and Twitterverse will begin running around like headless chickens.
map courtesy of: https://www.270towin.com/maps/bjOJw
Congress, of course, would then decide who gets to be the figurehead to run the country. In this scenario, the House of Representatives gets to pick the president. But wait! Not each representative gets a vote—that would be too logical. Instead, each state delegation gets one vote. Yes, that means California’s 53 representatives are somehow equal to Wyoming’s 1. Democracy!
Meanwhile, the Senate, in its infinite wisdom, would choose the vice president. In other words, the people who already spend their days yelling at each other will now have the power to decide who will administer the country’s immense bureaucracy. We’d have a government that could argue with itself more efficiently than ever before.
In the end, the 2024 election could turn into the ultimate reality show—except this one has real stakes. Who will win? Trump? Harris? Speaker Mike Johnson? (the guy who looks like an accountant and whose idea of progress is setting the clock back to 1950). If you thought 2020 was bad, just wait…
