Laugh (or cry) at the absurdity of the news
Over the past week the headlines have been coming in like biblical plagues, if the Bible had been written by CNN’s breaking news ticker: Spain battles record wildfires even as the end of a heat wave brings lower temperatures Fire Season Is Starting Earlier Thanks to Climate Change, New Study Finds Four years after war…
By now, you’ve probably read that the United States—once famed for putting people on the Moon and inventing Pop-Tarts—is doing a rather enthusiastic job of canceling science. Not accidentally, like when you spill coffee on a lab notebook, but actively, gleefully, and with the sort of techbro gusto usually reserved for buying up a failing…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a thrilling narrative update, Democrats have unveiled a brand-new Hero’s Journey tailored specifically for their brave fight against a second Trump presidency. Spoiler alert: it’s less “slaying dragons” and more “mildly inconveniencing progressive allies while apologizing to hedge fund managers.” Act I: The Ordinary World (Where Nothing Gets Done) Our story…
Greetings, esteemed recipient of unsolicited but clearly vital intelligence. I am no longer a Nigerian prince, nor involved in any minor monarchy that you’ve ever heard of. No, my scam generous proposal has evolved. The era of “Prince Ahmed of Upper Whateverstan” has passed. We’ve upgraded. Like the collective unconscious or Apple operating systems, we’ve…
Welcome, citizens of the future! Or is it the present? Once upon a time, dystopian futures were just fun thought experiments for English majors and conspiracy theorists. The future was bright, and things were going to get better and better. Back in 1985 (or year 95 in the Year of Our Ford) there was much…
In a fascinating display of computational prowess, a hyper-intelligent AI—operating with predictive algorithms so advanced they border on the psychic—now forecasts a high probability that both Trump and Harris will receive 269 electoral votes this November. It’s a reminder that even in politics, the universe has a way of bending toward chaos. After months of…