NASA: It’s Just a “Normal” Star Burp, Don’t Worry About It (Too Much)
As if we didn’t have enough existential threats to worry about—climate change, AI overlords, Trump being back in office—now scientists are reminding us that the Sun, our benevolent life-giver, occasionally hurls cosmic temper tantrums that could fry our entire civilization like an outdated circuit board.
Experts say these Coronal Mass Ejections (CMEs), which are basically giant clouds of superheated plasma traveling at ludicrous speeds, can cause all sorts of mayhem if they happen to smack into our planet. Think widespread power outages, satellite crashes, and the internet going down – basically, all the things that would make your already fragile mental state crumble completely.
The Last Time This Happened, Telegraphs Caught Fire. Yes, FIRE.
Back in 1859, before anyone had TikTok or an unhealthy emotional attachment to their AI girlfriend, a CME called The Carrington Event slammed into Earth. The result? Telegraph operators—who were basically the influencers of their day—got electrocuted at their desks, telegraph paper burst into flames, and people saw the northern lights in Colombia—a country normally known for not being near the Arctic.
How Screwed Are We, Exactly?
But what would happen if a similar “Carrington Event” (named after the guy who saw it happen and thought, “Well, that seems bad”) hit Earth today?
According to the SPACE WEATHER PREDICTION CENTER of the NATIONAL OCEANIC AND ATMOSPHERIC ADMINISTRATION it would knock out satellites, power grids, and the internet. Basically, civilization would revert back to the 1800s, except this time, nobody knows how to churn butter.
The good news is that we have a fancy satellite called DSCOVR (which stands for Deep Space Climate Observatory, because scientists love acronyms) that might give us a heads-up before the next CME smacks us, giving scientists a whole two days…or more likely 15-60 minutes of warning—which is about enough time to realize you never bought those emergency candles your prepper cousin kept telling you about.
Theoretically, if scientists catch it early, they could shut down satellites and reconfigure power grids to minimize damage. But let’s be honest—given how well we handled previous global crises (cough COVID cough), are we really banking on humanity collectively getting its act together in 48 hours?
So, there you have it. The Sun is trying to kill us, but probably won’t. Sleep tight!
For more ways the universe is trying to kill you, visit spaceweather.gov
